July 9, 2009

While you're in Italy?

I'm floating my fat ass up to Alaska.

Everyone eats their way through a cruise, right?  Free buffet!  Free desserts!  Nothing to do but lie on a chair and booze it!


Seeins how I've lost 44 pounds, I am NOT gaining an ounce next week.  I'm not eating one stupid thing on this cruise.  And truthfully, why would I?  I really doubt Holland America is bringing out the super high dollar grade A food for their mass consumption guests.  Why would I want to binge on shit?  And the idea of everyone gorging themselves on food for 7 days straight kinda makes me gag anyway.  I'm going to take the high ground and eat my veggies and my grains and come back THINNER.   Take that, Megan Fox.  I bet you can't get thinner!  



Decorno said...

Four words, sister:

Io sono verdure grigliate.
(I'll have grilled vegetables.)

While I haven't, uh, lost a single fucking pound, I am not going to gain any while I haul my ass around Italy.

There will be a lot of fruit and stuff on the boat. You'll be fine. I swear. If I need to airlift in flax and blueberries, just let me know.

Mint Julep said...

44 pounds!?! I will have gained probably more than that in the next couple of months!
Congrats on such an accomplishment! I'm very excited for you!
I'll get back to you on how you did it in a few months.
Now, I'm going to go cry over a huge piece of Boston cream pie.

Jules said...

JJ, you can do it. And Elaine is right--that boat will be full of fruit and veggies. If all else fails, do what I do. Read trash until the urge to eat disappears.

Iheartfashion said...

Have a great time! You won't be missing anything not eating cruise food. I'm in awe of your 44 lb weight loss; in fact, I may have gained that much in the same time period...

Jennifer Fabulous said...

I love your blog. You are hilarious.
And I have been dealing with weight issues myself lately. Ever since I moved out of my parents house, I have gained 20 pounds in almost a year. So pathetic. And it sucks b/c I'm 5 feet tall, so I'm pretty much a round little ball now.

Anyway, I hope you will check out my blog when you get back from your trip:

Julia said...

I love this blog!

v8grrl said...

holy shit!!!!

you go!!!
v8<~~~~doin the cabbage patch

where the hell are the pictures?
come on!!!! or else I will have to start googling you and looking for pictures my self...
except i don't know your given name...
damn it

lets see it you skinny biatch!

ps...you rock...
and if you ahve done any of the jillian m shred videos...
now switch to her lesbo other half...
JACKIE...from "the workout" she will kick your skinny butt into no flab shape.

JJ said...

V8 - I own the Jillian video. (um. I have not turned that bitch on one single time.)

Shocking news update - I lost FOUR pounds on the trip to Alaska. I only lost 2 pounds the whole month of June but I float on the oceans for a week and I lose FOUR pounds?

The key:
-possibly sea sickness. I barfed for 2 hours Friday night.
-possibly potatoes. The "grilled veggies" was a great idea except no makey the grilled veggies every day. Potatoes are more calories than I am used to.
-possibly the fact that I ran on the treadmill every single day.