March 21, 2009

In re. JJ v. Boobs


























I hate my boobs.  I love my boobs.

I don't not want them.  They are great sometimes - like in a really low cut dress.  They can pretty much stop traffic some nights.
But they drive me nuts.

I am already, officially, even in Banana Republic sizes, NOT SMALL.  But things that should fit *do not fit* and it's mostly because of the jugs (I have to give the backfat a little love here too.) 

woe woe woe.  Big boobs is such a problem, yes?  Dolly Parton.  Pam Anderson.  Holly Madison.  I mean, clearly my career success is based on my boobs.  But what a pain they are.

On the flip side, when I am skinny the boobs DEFLATE - like into a puddle of skin, like pick them up as you would a kitten, by the scruff of the neck.  

As I have been losing my weight again (what?  doesn't everyone gain 40 pounds each fall?) I am watching the girls slowly slide away, towards the ground.

  ::hissssssssssssssssssssssssss::

5 comments:

Beth said...

my boobs are a nightmare! i would love nothin more than to not have to wear a bra...EVER!

GoTime said...

This blog is hilarious. Im adding you to my favorites. I'll be back!!

Iheartfashion said...

I hear ya!

JJ said...

Can you even imagine no bra? High and Tight!

RLG said...
This comment has been removed by the author.