November 1, 2008

Here's how to help your self esteem barely limp along.

Decide that it's a good idea to have a lazy morning on the couch where you're wearing crunchy and stinky 3-day-old yoga pants and a hoodie with dog hair all over you, with mascara smeared on your face because you were too lazy to wash last night before bed. Add to this your paunchy gut that you are filling with vats of coffee. Then watch The Hills. Decide that at 31 you want to watch these vapid, tan, lithe young things flit around LA wearing adorable little barely-there tunics and lip gloss.

I feel great.