October 21, 2008

I am fat elvis

I am currently fighting with Peanut Butter.

FYI - diabetic peanut butter tastes just like you would expect - peanut shells minus the good peanutty flavor.  Net: dirt.

October 13, 2008

Befores and Afters

I was just sitting here feeling sorry for myself for eating a half cup of cottage cheese and 6 oz of pineapple and I tripped over this slideshow on MSN.  There are some amazing fat-to-skinny photos in it!


It kinds pisses me of that I have a whole new set of Before and After photos to take.  Today to Lohan-size.  Such a pain in the ass.

At least I don't feel sad about my measly breakfast now that I've looked at this slideshow.  I think I'm going to pop into the 'hood pilates studio and check it out...

October 12, 2008

my *new* plan

US Weekly reports that Jessica Alba works out one hour a day, six days a week and burns approximately 500 calories during each session.  This is my new goal.  (Oh, and the kid sucks out another 500 calories during breastfeeding supposedly.)

Speaking of things, was this the Lohan you loved?  All fashiony and shit?  Because I am loving it too.  I had forgotten how thin she was.  

Why does Lohan look sick but Nicole look normal?  Am I just used to her being all freaky thin now?  

I still have the secret you know...STOP EATING. 

October 7, 2008


I have EIGHT weeks to get into this shit.

I am pretty sure there's only one way to get Blair Waldorf-thin and I cannot seem to do it.  
In my way:
sugar-free fudgesicles
lack of exercise
general fatigue
bad attitude
9 hours of computer work per day
business travel

Can you please whip me into shape (literally)?

I am getting new stretch marks.

It's no lie. On my hips.

Also, guess what I had for dinner? 2 margaritas and an english muffin with butter and cinnamon and sugar.

I am so totally off my game. Holy shit.