April 17, 2008

My pants aren't tight anymore, JJ!

This is what I was thinking after 3 days of eating lots of air and salmon and lettuce. (Mmmmm... air! So good!). So last night I got up from the Official Blogging Sofa and walked over and tried on these cute jeans (they look like the ones above).

And they so didn't fit any better than the last time.

And then it hit me: I had simply stretched out the other jeans.

What the motherfuck?

So there you have it. This is the way God injures me, time and again.

I am pretty sure the whole nightmare looked like this:


JJ said...

You know what I'm afraid of? Being that B-roll photo.

How terrible is that going to be? You're strutting along in really hot shoes thinking that you're in your "thin" outfit and then you see yourself on B-roll during a segment on "Obesity Experts Find that Obese Person Can Actually Burst Out of her Body."

I fully expect to be that woman unless I start running again soon.

Decorno said...

I *am* that b-roll person (how do you even know what these are called? Is Libby TEACHING you shit? Holy god.).

I can't believe you run. I run for like a tenth of a block and I am like, "Whoa, great workout. Time to easy up and stretch out. Done feeling the burn."

JJ said...

I am not a runner. My heft is too great. I roll. Like a keg.

(I am smart! I know things! I worked in public relations!)

Sucker For Marketing said...

Stretched out jeans are one of the most frustrating things god invented, I totally agree. And another thing, how is it that jeans shrink so much? I mean, they fit before I washed them...

Mint Julep said...

Good thing my thighs touch, because I really want you guys to like me.

The air diet doesn't work. I was on it last week.

Eighty-eight said...

Here's to two weeks on slim fast, wish us luck! My thighs definitely touch, they are best friends. Love this blog and your other one, priceless.

SGM said...

Decorno, are you going to follow-up on this no sugar thing? I would rather do no air than no refined sugar.
Hi JJ!

Funny stuff, guys!

Courtney said...

I know the feeling. I had thought I'd started losing a few kilos until I realised the stretch in my jeans had given up. My thighs have conquered lycra. It was a sad day.

N2Design said...

Oh gosh, I am so becoming that muffin top. It is so frustrating. I have been doing the whole Zone think, and unlike Jennifer Aniston I actually think I have gained weight!

I have always said, my dream weight is somewhere between anorexic and skinny.

Kelly said...

I just found your blog, and all I can say is:


Reba said...

Wow, that is how I look in my way too tight jeans that I hope to one day fit in again.

I began dieting today and am already feeling a little whoosy. God help me I'm going to lose 15 pounds before June.

Love your blog!


none said...

I like that girl in the picture. I'd be friends with her.