April 16, 2008

Drunkorexia and my dog's eating disorder.

JJ - You know how the NY Times (or some publication... look, I drink when I read, I can't footnote my whole fucking online life..) recently published an article about women who basically have an eating disorder in which they try to eat, like 10 grapes a day, so that they can spend their calories on booze? (I thought this was just a quirk of mine... I didn't know it was in the Diagnostic & Statisitcal Manual.)

Anyway, my dog has his own version of it. My dog waits until 8:00 to eat, sometimes later, when he's exhausted all hope that he's going to get a secret pile of cheese from me as I make burritos, or maybe leftover chicken from our dinner. He's a fucking pig, that pug.

Do you think I have given Rickey food issues? I hate it when people let their pets get fat. I also hate it when people start to look like their pets. This is going from bad to worse.

So, clearly the answer to this problem is: I need to buy Rickey a treadmill. Pronto.

Anyhoo - - let's get back to these drunk bitches:

Here are the highlights:

Drunkorexia is not an official medical term. But it hints at a troubling phenomenon in addiction and eating disorders. Among those who are described as drunkorexics are college-age binge drinkers, typically women, who starve all day to offset the calories in the alcohol they consume. The term is also associated with serious eating disorders, particularly bulimia, which often involve behavior like bingeing on food — and alcohol — and then purging.

“In the beginning of my eating disorder I wouldn’t touch alcohol because it is so high in calories,” said Ms. Van De Veen, who later found herself regularly hospitalized for dehydration. “But I have the disease of more: I just want more no matter what it is.”

First of all, no one is named Van De Veen, so I think this article is totally fake. Probably written by Ruth Shalit. But whatever.

“The alcohol is probably what kept any weight on me,” she said in an interview late last month at the Renfrew Center, which she entered on New Year’s Eve for eight weeks of treatment.

She just wants to be punched. CAN YOU EVEN IMAGINE SAYING THAT? JJ - can you imagine me, little D, saying "Wow, remember when I was such a waif and I was dying? Thank god I was into the booze." I am jealous of her drinky diet.

“People are finally beginning to realize that food can function in the same way as drugs and alcohol,” Dr. Evans said.
Um, really? This is as stunning as the timely realization by scientists that cigarettes caused cancer. Way to stay on top of your shit, researchers.

I have been drunkorexic accidentally, and only accidentally. I mean, I have to be pretty drunk to forget to eat. Because the first thing alcohol loosens up are inhibitions, and let me tell you, chicken wings and Taco Bell start to sound really good when you've had that 4th (and deadly) martini.

Read it all HERE.


Richie Designs said...

dear god, I think you are following me and my friends talking about this.

god bless you for this site. hilarious.

JJ said...

First, I never forget to eat.

WHO IS FUCKING KIDDING? YOU DON'T FORGET TO EAT. You get too busy, yes. You don't FORGET because your body is fucking hardwired to want to EAT. Van de Veen (on behalf of all the liars) can suck it.

Second, I wish I could be drunkarexic. At no time have I ever turned down food because I wanted to save my calories. That is fucked up shit! I always want to eat. When I turn down food, it's SOLELY because I am planning to eat something later (something of the NSA fudgesicle variety or the peanuts and raisins variety or let's be honest, the peanut butter cup variety.) I can't even fathom NOT EATING. There's always a meal on my horizon.

Finally, what I do really like is Ms. De Veen's fantastic new (fatal) disease of wanting More. I am a big fan of More. I sometimes take it too far, like, "one nose piercing is good, therefore two is better" (what? I was young once!) but generally, More is good, good, good.

ok, on review, we are two jealous bitches.

Decorno said...

No question. I am totally jealous. I think it's way more glamourous to be a hot drunk bitch (Lindsay Lohan, Eva Mendez) than a hot FAT drunk bitch (Kirstie Alley, Anna Nicole Smith). And yes, I donned my Captain Obvious cape before I wrote that.

none said...

What if Mrs. Van De Veen's first name was "Dee"?