April 15, 2008

And you want to know something else?

I went to a dinner party tonight at a fancy pants French restaurant, Zoe. It had a fabulous menu with all sorts of foods mixed with all sorts of other foods. My problem: I need to eat 4 oz of protein and 8 oz of vegetables. Is there any single thing on the menu that's JUST a single protein? No. Everything is a freaking tur-duck-hen frankenfood.

I thought the server was going to D-I-E that I asked for a simple seared rockfish and simple cauliflower. He was S-H-O-C-K-E-D that I asked to review the cheese plate (for a simple soft cheese protein serving.) It was tres annoying and slightly embarrassing in front of my friends.

Mike ended up having something scallopy with a mix of crazy veggies and lentils (veggies + bean protein = nearly impossible for me to pick apart into a meal I can eat) and my friends had duck and pork.

And you know what, my simple, plain food was fucking FANTASTIC. The fish (without the clam veloute/juice) was so juicy and the cauliflower was so salty and buttery and goddamn fantastic.

The best part: I don't feel like a giant, gorged pig right now.

It's easy to eat this way.


Decorno said...

Oh, I *know* how you grill the poor student/waiter over the soft cheeses. I have seen this Guantanamo-like interrogation go down at Bouchon. VERY impressive. This is why you're gonna be my lawyer next time I get in a jam.

Hold your ground, JJ. Don't let some waiter cock block your nutritional inquisition.

JJ said...

This interrogation thing is new to me. You know what I used to do? Because I am a fucking SAINT? I used to NOT EAT. I would sit there and watch everyone else eat and eat and eat and I would politely, waifly sit there with a vodka soda and quickly get drizzunk. And then I would go home and binge on No Sugar Added Fudgesicles.

No more bitches! I will eat your food! And I will make you suffer for offering it to me!

decorno said...

OH MY GOD, I am eating a NSA fudgesicle RIGHT NOW. Not kidding. I learned it from you... my teeth are getting cold holding on to it while I type...

decorno said...

I am so glad you're interrogating. They need to tell you. They also need to not try to kill you with nuts. That's another topic, huh?

Annao said...

i'm in love with both of you. i'm reading your blog all the way from india (where i'm deftly navigating greasy and delicious palak paneer and cheese parathas) because it makes me laugh (in a good way. in the uhuh sistah way.) so thank you.